Epic Carteret Logo
Melissa Kelley2025-02-06T18:07:33-05:00

Episode 8

Melissa Kelley

Veteran, Volunteer, Community Builder

Episode 8

Melissa Kelley

Veteran, Volunteer, Community Builder

From working on non-profit boards to local arts advocacy, in this episode of EPIC Carteret, we’re exploring the impact of community service.

Join me as I talk with retired naval aviator Melissa Kelley about how her twenty years as a Marine Corps officer shaped her leadership in organizations like the Carteret Writers and local theater groups. We’ll explore the challenges and rewards of balancing personal life with volunteerism and hear her insights on the importance of giving back. Melissa’s story offers a reminder of the valuable impact of committed volunteers in a thriving community.

Listen to Episode 8

Learn more about Carteret Writers, the Arts Council of Carteret County, and related topics mentioned in the episode.

Other organizations mentioned in Episode 8

Inspired to volunteer in our community?

Whatever your passion, you’ll find lots of opportunities to volunteer in Carteret County in addition to those noted above.

If you’re interested in cultural preservation, visit the Episode 7 Show Notes page for more volunteer opportunities specific to that area.

If you’re looking to help those affected by Hurricane Helene, the best way is to donate funds to trusted organizations rather than traveling to the area, which can overwhelm local resources. While the recovery process unfolds, there are still plenty of ways to volunteer locally. Your contributions to these efforts, both financial and through local volunteerism, will make a difference.

Visit the North Carolina Voluntary Organizations Active in Disaster to find out the best ways to support our neighbors to the west.

Carolina Home and Garden

In September, Melissa Kelley and I met at Carolina Home and Garden in Newport to record Episode 8 on Enthusiastic Volunteers. This has become a favorite meeting place for us since April 2023, when we held Carteret Writers’ first conference here. Carolina Home and Garden offers a unique blend of lush greenhouses, outdoor furniture, and charming home décor, alongside a beautiful event space. Visitors can enjoy a stroll through their gardens or relax at the on-site wine bar, making it a welcoming spot for community gatherings and creative inspiration.

Transcripts

View Online

View as a Webpage Button
Download in MS Word Format Button
Explanation of these options

Download

Download in MS Word Format Button
Download in PDF Format Button
Download in epub Format Button

Migraine Friendly

Download in MS Word Migraine Friendly Format Button
Download in PDF Format Button
Download in epub Migraine Friendly Format Button

This project is supported by the North Carolina Arts Council, a division of the Department of Natural and Cultural Resources, with administration by the Craven Arts Council & Gallery.

Don’t miss out! Sign up for occasional updates from EPIC Carteret.

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.

Related Posts

Epic-Carteret Episode 8:

A Conversation with Melissa Kelley:
Veteran, Volunteer, Community Builder

Transcribed by Autumn Ware with the help of Hindenburg Pro

Intro

Autumn (narration): Welcome to EPIC Carteret. I’m your host Autumn Ware, a reformed recluse in a place that knows the secret of transforming strangers into neighbors. Join me as I explore what makes Carteret County such an extraordinary place to call home.

[music swells and fades]

Autumn (narration): Maybe you’ve noticed as I have that all of my EPIC Carteret guests have had at least one thing in common – they’re all enthusiastic volunteers in in essential Crystal Coast organizations. From mystery writer Tom Kies to cultural anthropologist Barbara Garrity-Blake, these are people who are committed to cultivating the arts, culture, and community through generous gifts of their time and talents.

When I decided to devote an episode of EPIC to volunteerism, I knew exactly who I wanted to talk to – my good friend and former Carteret Writers President Melissa Kelley. In the time I’ve known her, Melissa has volunteered with sports teams, memorial foundations, and arts organizations, to name a few causes she supports tirelessly. And she started her career in the ultimate volunteer organization, the U.S. military.

It felt like a need to fill. We felt a sense of duty.

Melissa Kelley: I ended up going to the Naval Academy, it was a very attractive place to go to school because it was free. You had a guaranteed job at the end. So I mean that the incentives that they give you definitely helped me get there. And then when I was considering what I wanted to do afterwards, me and a bunch of my women friends at the Naval Academy, we saw this need in the Marines that we didn’t see in the Navy, but it exists. But it was more stark in the Marines: there were few women officers. It felt like a need to fill, like we felt a sense of duty. And I love the fact that in the Marine Corps, everybody starts at the same place, all the officers go to the basic school. So you all learn to be basic infantrymen before you go learn to be aviators and supply officers and logisticians. It’s a really it’s a it’s a grounding basis for your whole officer corps.

Autumn (narration): The Naval Academy offered Melissa a top-tier education and guaranteed job security without the burden of tuition, but it was more than just practical benefits that drew her to a career in the military. From the start, she knew she wanted a path with purpose. Her ability to see a need and her willingness to step into the gap to fill it paired with her strong sense of duty to her community are recurrent themes in Melissa’s life, and they play a significant role in her volunteerism.

And while the word “duty” often carries connotations that can feel heavy, rigid, or even burdensome, Melissa’s approach redefines it. For her, duty isn’t about obligation; it’s about opportunity. It’s the chance to step in where you’re needed and make a meaningful impact.

The military is one big leadership laboratory.

Melissa Kelley: The military left me with a couple of things, like the feeling that you can do anything within limits, of course. The realm of possible really expanded thanks to the things that you end up doing in the military that you don’t think you can do initially and then in the way you push yourself.

The other thing it left me with was an ability to stay calm under pressure. You have to learn how to deal with things that are potentially life threatening. And if you freak out, then you’re not being helpful, and you’re probably making it worse.

The military is one big leadership laboratory. So you’re constantly studying it, you’re talking about it, you’re living it, and you get so many lessons in leadership every day just by seeing the other leaders around you, by seeing how the things you do as a leader impact other folks, what works, what doesn’t work. So that was 20 plus years of learning leadership.

Sometimes you have to lead the people that are above you in rank, especially in the cockpit, because you fly as a crew with people of all different ranks. And sometimes you’re the mission commander, the person in charge of that flight, but you’re the junior person, like, you have the lowest rank in there, but you’re still the leader.

What I took from that into post-military life is meeting people where they are. And it helped me develop a huge amount of tact for getting people on board with what you want to do, like, recognizing that not everybody is up for the same stuff and also finding what helps people want to help you.

Autumn (narration): The Marine Corps brought Melissa, a naval aviator, to North Carolina in 1999 to fly EA-6B Prowlers, which were only stationed at Cherry Point. She returned for a second tour in 2010, and when she and her husband John, a fellow marine stationed at Camp Lejeune, retired in 2016, they decided to make the Carteret County their home. During Melissa’s transition back into civilian life, the Prowlers were also retired, and this led to her first foray into post-military volunteerism.

It’s neat to have provided that for the people that we served with.

Melissa Kelley: Right as I was retiring, they started sundowning the Prowler because it was an old airframe, and they didn’t replace it with another airframe. They just deactivated the four Prowler squadrons.

A group of us decided that this shouldn’t go unmemorialized, and we ended up building a three-figure, heroic-sized statue that we put at the National Naval Aviation Museum in Pensacola, Florida. We raised over $400,000 to build this cast bronze statue and put it on this big granite base. That was that was a lot of learning and discovering that I really don’t like fundraising.

That was volunteering, but it was still adjacent to the Marine Corps, so it was very familiar. That was a good experience, and we still get pictures from folks like, Hey, I went and saw the monument. It’s really awesome. It’s neat to have provided that for the people that we served with.

[music swells and fades]

Autumn (narration): Not content to rest on her laurels as a naval aviator, Melissa took on an equally risky mission upon retirement: homeschooling her two children Jasper and Jack. She wanted to catch up on some of the time she’d missed with her kids while she was in service. Much like my episode five guest Mayor Sharon Harker, who got her start in public service volunteering in her kids’ schools, Melissa’s dedication to being present in her children’s lives extended naturally into serving her community.

Most of my volunteering has grown from activities my kids do.

Melissa Kelley: The Marine Corps is very structured, and you know, exactly, I mean from what you’re wearing every day to what you’re doing and how long you’re going to be at work. You go from that to: you’re setting your own schedule; you’re trying to corral two unruly kids into doing your homeschooling stuff for the day.

The first year the homeschooling was really structured, but as it as that structure fell apart every day, it became like, why am I bothering with this structure? And then we got very unstructured with it, and it is difficult to fill your day. And I think that was part of also seeking more stuff to do, things to just focus on.

I am a person that is better when I’m busier. I fit more things in, and I get more stuff done. I’m more productive when I have more on my plate. When I have less on my plate, I tend to waste time.

When I was still in the Marines, I did not have the opportunity really to do much volunteer work outside of what we were doing at work. But as soon as I retired, I started volunteering with a local girls’ lacrosse team because my oldest was playing lacrosse at the time, and I was a goalie in college, so I was coaching the goalies.

Most of my volunteering has grown from activities my kids do because when we were in the Marines, we would both get home late and have like an hour maybe with the kids, and then they’d go to bed. That was the one of the hugest goals of retiring is just spend time with the kids while they’re kids, and they’re still at home, so I just jumped into some of the stuff they were doing.

Autumn (narration): Of course, Melissa couldn’t spend all of her time homeschooling. She wanted to expand her own horizons as well, and the Life Enrichment program at Carteret Community College offers some ideal opportunities for trying new things and making new friends. Melissa signed up for a creative writing class with Tom Kies. This is where she and I met, and it’s where Emily Carter, my third EPIC guest, recruited us to serve on the Carteret Writers board.

Like many non-profits post-COVID, the small regional writing group was suffering a slow demise. Over time, the board had dwindled from four to two volunteer members: Stanley Trice, the president who had been holding the group together for years, and Sarah Maury Swan, the board’s dedicated secretary. After several unsuccessful recruitment attempts, the pair made the painful decision to retire the nearly forty-year-old organization in 2021.

Of course it’s something we can do because we can do anything.

Melissa Kelley: The Marine Corps left me with a sense of duty, so when Emily gathered us all together to talk about, well, we’ve got to keep this organization going, like, well, yeah, of course we have to keep this going. And of course it’s something we can do because we can do anything.

What I think we as a board did really well is we made it engaging. We tried so many different things to reach out to different people, and within the board, we were all participating. With respect to Carteret Writers, just getting out there and engaging with people and showing an interest in them, making it more than just an organization, building the relationships between members to try to build connections.

I think that’s what helped us have so many fun events is that we created this open kind of community. We built the community of the group. It wasn’t just a group where you went and had lunch and saw each other once a month. It was a community where you interacted all month with each other, and you did things together, and you supported each other.

We created an environment that drew people in, encouraged them to help out. And so that helped us build some of these big events that we did and and just brought the energy back to the group.

Autumn (narration): When Melissa joined the Carteret Writers board, it was out of a familiar sense of duty. But what she led the board to achieve as our President went well beyond the call of duty. Together and with guidance and support from Stanley, Sarah, and other veteran members, the organization has experienced a renaissance.

We’ve hosted two local conferences, one right here at the beautiful Carolina Home and Gardens where our EPIC interview took place. We’ve brought in guest speakers from as far away as Baltimore. We’ve partnered with the Arts Council of Carteret County for the Art from the Heart event, and we’ve brought in lots of new members looking for writing encouragement.

This year, I’m proud to say, we were also able to recruit four new board members to take over the reins, something we all felt was an important indicator of the improving health of the writing community. People wanted to keep the momentum going, even if it meant putting in volunteer hours.

It’s inspiring to help you continue to work on your project.

Melissa Kelley: Carteret Writers is a neat community because we have so many different writers pursuing such diverse writing styles and projects. Diversity is a strength in any way, but because we’re all working on different things, and we come together and talk about it, it is really just inspiring and motivating to everybody. It’s inspiring to help you continue to work on your project. You’re exposed to so many different ideas. To be exposed to more creativity and more creative people, I think that just helps grow everybody’s creativity.

[music swells and fades]

Autumn (narration): The time Melissa spent on the Carteret Writers board got her more excited about writing, and it brought her into community with people who inspired and encouraged her as a writer. In fact, she got so much motivation through her interactions that she’s seeking an MA in Creative Writing now that her tour of duty with the board is over.

Melissa’s post-military life has been marked by a willingness to embrace new challenges, whether in the arts or community service. Her openness to learning and growth has made her a versatile and inspiring leader in every role she takes on. Of course, it helps that her choices in life enrichment aren’t life threatening.

Nobody is shooting at me.

Melissa Kelley: The other thing I brought to the civilian life is that, like, all the things I was trying were new. I had never been a creative writer before. I’m learning, so I was more accepting of myself making mistakes and that made me more willing to try things. And then also, nobody is shooting at me. The stakes were never quite as high. It was like, okay, well, this didn’t work. No big deal.

I do occasionally take on too much because I get excited about something, like last summer Elysian Players did The Lion King for the kids. I just get so excited because I think and I approach it as, like, these kids are putting so much effort into this. They deserve to have the coolest costumes ever.

And if I can help make them the coolest costumes, and I have these ideas that come, then I have to make it happen. I made eight different animal costumes, and it was a lot of work. It was all enjoyable, but that was probably at the limit of what I should take on. So I continue to do costumes and take on things that I get excited about.

[music swells and fades]

Autumn (narration): Non-profit arts organizations are a crucial part of community life, providing safe spaces for creativity and connection, and enthusiastic volunteers for these organizations make those spaces possible. Through her volunteer work with Carteret Writers, Elysian Players, and Carteret Community Theatre, Melissa has helped create opportunities for more people to express themselves and find a sense of belonging and purpose.

In the arts, you find those things that help you connect with other humans.

Melissa Kelley: In the arts, you find those things that help you connect with other humans, you find the things that help you process struggles. Art helps you feel less alone because it is an expression of humanity, and it helps connect people. Having arts organizations and communities is essential. I think they do two things. They both bring art to more people so that more people can feel part of this humanity that art is an expression of. Also it helps educate people in the arts.

That’s one of the goals of the theater groups, in particular, is to educate people and give people arts opportunities. In a community theater, everybody is a volunteer, and it’s an opportunity for people that haven’t acted in a play or sung in a musical or done any of these things. Or like the Arts Council offers all these painting classes and different arts classes. It’s a gateway for people who haven’t had this opportunity before at a very low cost or free to participate and explore their creative side, which is another part of our humanity. So I think they’re essential.

Autumn (narration): In a recent poll conducted by the American Psychiatric Association, about one in three American adults surveyed said they feel lonely at least once a week. One in 10 said they feel lonely every day. Among young people, 3 in 10 said they experience loneliness every day or several times a week.

Whether through the arts or other community activities, volunteering has the power to bring people together, to foster a sense of community belonging, to combat loneliness, and to build close, meaningful friendships.

They do feel isolated, but when they come, they felt like a part of it.

Melissa Kelley: Friendships are richer when You have a shared interest. I think we saw that with trying to draw out some of the younger crowd and get them to come. They do feel isolated, but when they come, they felt like a part of it. But it’s also just that hurdle of getting over the doorstep and getting yourself out there. And I mean, I’ve felt it. There’ve been times when I’ve not wanted to go out the door to something, whatever it is. I have to reach back to memories and think, okay, I felt this way before and I’ve gone and I’ve been glad I went. Because it is hard to get out there, especially when you’re used to, like, just interacting with folks on a digital sphere.

Autumn (narration): Even if we put all the warm fuzzies of building friendships aside, Melissa notes that volunteerism has some very real pragmatic benefits for the volunteers, from building stronger business ties to learning new skills and expanding possibilities.

It really broadens your life.

Melissa Kelley: I’ve met such interesting and diverse people through all of it, through the sports programs the kids have done, through the theater groups, through Carteret Writers. In the cast of a show, you might have people whose primary job is, like, they’re a music teacher or they teach an instrument, like some sort of musical job. But then you also have a chiropractor and somebody that works in a law office, so you have all these different folks coming together.

It helps the people that are business owners especially, I think, because now you have more people that want to support your business because they’ve gotten to know you as a member of this cast or as a member of a writing group. You’re like, Oh, well, hey, this is your business? Well, I want to go support your business, so I’m going to patronize it or talk it up to other people. And more people will be aware of what it is you’re doing.

Volunteering alongside you and seeing you completely transform the Carteret Writers website. I had done the newsletter for the Monument Foundation, but in working alongside you, I mean, you did the heavy lifting, you and Jack, on the website, but seeing what you did just made me start thinking about, well, gosh, what is possible if I ever have an author website and an author newsletter. There’s so many ways that both the people you’re working alongside and the stuff that you’re doing teaches you about possibilities and even some of the nitty gritty of the how tos.

You end up learning so much, too. Anybody that just wants to get both more intimate with their community and enhance their own lives by learning: volunteer for something. I was not a thespian, and I’m volunteering with a theater group, and I’m learning so much about how plays are produced and all the stuff that goes into it. And then I’m learning about the writing community and publishing and the statewide writing community and all these different things, and so it gives you back way more than you put into it. It really broadens your life.

[music swells and fades]

Autumn (narration): Despite all the advantages to be gained from volunteering, finding enthusiastic volunteers can be a challenge for non-profit organizations, especially in our busy world.

The space in your life for volunteerism is not there.

Melissa Kelley: It’s hard to get volunteers. Every organization that relies on volunteers is always looking for more. They’re always trying to find people because people are really busy. We have evolved to a way of life where during your working years, you’re working really hard, and a lot of people are working ten, 12 hour days. The space in your life for volunteerism is not there. You see a lot of the volunteers are folks that are retired or have flexible work schedules. That’s one hurdle is getting past how hard and how much people work now.

Autumn (narration): But Melissa believes that if people see the impact they can have, they’re more likely to get involved. She advises organizations to be flexible and accommodating, meeting potential volunteers where they are and finding ways to make participation easy and rewarding.

This is what it’s all about.

Melissa Kelley: Some folks are really good with online stuff, and they can be in charge of your Facebook page. Some people have two hours to spend, and if you’ve made your sign up blocks four hours long, now you’ve excluded them. Find out what people can give, and then help them give it. A lot of it is advertising and matching what the organization needs with what people can give in bite sized chunks.

[music swells and fades]

Autumn (narration): For those considering volunteering, Melissa’s advice is simple and mirrors the advice that cultural anthropologist Barbara Garrity-Blake offered in episode 6: find what interests you and give it a try. You never know what you might discover or where it might lead.

If it’s aligned with something else that you’re really interested in, then you’re really cooking with gas.

Melissa Kelley: There’s so many different volunteer opportunities. You can volunteer at the animal shelter. There’s food banks. There’s homeless and battered women’s shelters. There’s so many different groups that could use help.

Find what interests you, even if you have no experience in it. If you are interested in painting, there’s an Arts Council. You may never have painted before but go volunteer and just be around it. You don’t have to paint. Just go sit and man their desk for a few hours or help them on the business side with fundraising or help plan an event for them. There’s ways that you probably already have skills that you can give to these organizations.

Or maybe you’re interested in fishing, but you’ve never fished before. Go volunteer for a fishing tournament. Go see what it’s all about. Around here, I mean, that’s a big one. There’s so many fishing tournaments that are benefits for different groups of people. They always need help.

Just figure out what interests you. Maybe what interests you is people and helping however you can. Volunteer at a food bank and just see what comes of it. Because you don’t know what’s going to come of it. You never know what you’re going to find.

And if you don’t find a good fit, then you’re a volunteer, you’re giving up your time. You can say this wasn’t right for me, and you can go find something else to volunteer with. There’s no feeling bad about it. That’s one thing I think is really cool about volunteering is you volunteer on your terms pretty much. You are going into it and saying, okay, I can spend 2 hours doing this or, yes, I can do this. They’re not saying you have to do this, so you’re going into it on your own terms, and you’re able to contribute what you feel you can. And when you get in it, you might see, oh, well, I want to help out with this too. And you might expand what you can do, but it’s still on your terms.

Autumn (narration): Whether it’s helping out at the animal shelter, assisting at a food bank, or supporting a local arts organization, enthusiastic volunteers are an essential resource in epic communities. The stakes may seem low for volunteers—you can try something new, make mistakes, and walk away if it’s not the right fit. But for the communities and organizations that rely on volunteers, the stakes couldn’t be higher.

Your time and effort can be the difference between a program thriving or struggling, between someone feeling supported or forgotten. And sometimes, just showing up is enough to open new doors and spark a deeper connection to your community. It’s that simple act of stepping up that often leads to something greater.

It grows from there.

Melissa Kelley: The sense of duty and filling a need I think that’s largely why I volunteer, you can see a need, you can see that you can help that’s been the case in everything, whether it’s Carteret writers or the lacrosse team or any of the theater things, it’s like, I can help with this. Let me help. Then it grows from there.

[music swells and fades]

 

 

Autumn (narration): If you’re looking for more ways to get involved, there are plenty of opportunities to make a meaningful impact in Carteret County.

You can lend a hand with the Chamber of Commerce, assisting with events or advocating for local businesses, or get involved with its Military Affairs Committee, which works to support our active-duty and retired military community.

If you’re passionate about literacy and education, consider supporting the Title Wave Bookmobile. In Episode 2, Amanda McCall shared how this mobile library brings books and educational resources to children during the summer months when school libraries are closed.

In Episode 4, we spoke with Catissa Head, Director of Programs at Coastal Community Action, an organization dedicated to serving the most vulnerable members of our community. They’re always in need of volunteers willing to donate their time, skills and talents to make a difference in the community.

And as Mayor Sharon Harker highlighted in Episode 5, there are numerous boards and committees in Carteret County where your voice and skills can make a real difference, and serving on one of these committees is a great way to contribute to the growth and well-being of our community.

No matter your interests or availability, there’s a place for you to get involved and make a difference here in Carteret County.

As always, visit epic-carteret.com for links to all the organizations and programs mentioned on the Episode 7 show notes page.

You can also read essays and articles by local writers on The EPIC Blog.

If you’re a writer planning to enter a ghost story to our annual Winter Hauntings contest, the deadline is approaching. Submit your 1,300-word of fewer Carteret County-inspired tale of terror by October 31 at epic-carteret.com.

Autumn (narration): Before we wrap up, I’d like to take a moment to extend my heartfelt thanks to those who made this episode possible:

  1. Thank you, Melissa, for making time in your busy schedule of writing, parenting, and volunteering to sit down with me at the beautiful Carolina Home and Gardens coffee shop, where we held our very first Carteret Writers conference, and thank you, Carolina Home and Gardens for welcoming us again.
  2. Thank you to the North Carolina Arts Council, a division of the Department of Natural and Cultural Resources, for helping to fund this project, and to the Craven Arts Council & Gallery for providing grant opportunities to local artists.
  3. Thank you, Jack, my EPIC sound engineer and producer, for volunteering to do all the hard work.
  4. Last but by no means least, a big thank you to you, EPIC listeners, for celebrating this incredible county with us.

Stay tuned for more EPIC Carteret, and remember, if you’re curious to know what it takes to create an epic community, the answer may be you.

Epic-Carteret Episode #:

A Conversation with [Name]:[something, something, something]

Transcribed by Autumn Ware with the help of Hindenburg Pro

Intro

Text

Heading

Text

Conclusion

Text

Epic Mini Cart

No products in the cart.

Go to Top